Essay complete

I finished my 3000 word essay. I got two thousand eight hundred and something. It'll do. I don't care anymore. At around 4:30 he announced an extension and then at about 5 he retracted it. Who does that. I'm glad I didn't just pack up my stuff and leave like almost did.

It's 1 subject out of the way. Just another 6 left. :(

I'm getting really excited about actual music project. I'm trying so hard to concentrate on college and not just play guitar. I have a day off tomorrow. I think I'll record something. It's been so so long.

>

It's obnoxiously funny. That interviewer just doesn't get it.

Finn Finn's bday

I've been feeling suprisingly positive and generally happy today, which is bizarre considering all of the things I've become so acustomed to is crumbling around me. I'm just going to go with it and hope for the best.

It's Finn Finn's birthday today. Happy birthday Finn Finn. There was a celebratory party to commemorate the occasion last night in sin. Sin is an ok place. It's the same as everywhere else though so what's the point really? I had the buzz though and some moshspace lads i didn't quite know screamed my name across the room, which is nothing unusual in fairness. And a guy stumbled in my direction and steadied himself by using my inside thigh for balance. He was so apolagetic. I was lolling.

I made her a card out of a post it. And I put it into a massive envelope. I love how consistantly bad my cards and present attempts are and how people still accept them and think they're funny. On the inside I wrote:

'dear Finn Finn,

I was going to write you a rhyme,
but I can't think of anything.
Fuck it!

Love Black.'

:)

I had a consultation for laser eye surgery this morning. 11th of December. The ability to see, here I come.

I have a new laptop. Yay.

I dislike boring essays

After 4 hours I'm only 354 words into my 3000 word assignment. Oh dear. This isn't going to end well. It's due in on friday. The plan is to go to his lecture tomorrow and harass him for what i should do. Hopefully he'll take pity on me and offer an extension. It won't happen but a gal can dream right? A gal can dream... *looks into distance*

And now back to looking after my grandparents. Hurray!!!

Yeah...

So after a nice weekend at home where I spent the majority of my time in bed, I have calmed down considerably and am ready for another week of crap. I have assignments due though so it's very likely I'll be less stressed out because I've got distractions. Ah distracting yourself from the harsh realities of life. There's nothing like it.
I miss my Greer. I forgot how much she gives out to me and gets distracted by the dresses she buys and other such novelties. <3
We went to the Czech in last night. I wouldn't let Rebecca go dance and held onto her wrist so she couldn't go and some guy came up and grabbed my hands and made me let go. People are strange there. It's not what I'm used to and I don't like it.



This has been stuck in my head for days now. I'm ok with it.

:(

I spent the last week staying up with my gran making her cups of tea that she innevitably didn't drink, making her food and then having to feed her, almost carrying her because she can't walk, catching her when she fell over, making her take her tablets, holding nebiliser masks up to her face, following her around with her oxygen tube trying to convince her that it actually will make her better, showing her how to swallow her tablets, showing her how to take an inhaler, letting her give out to me for whatever reasons came into her head, waking up at 6 in the morning and getting her breathing on track again, running to the shop, lighting her cigarettes... It's possibly the worst week of my life.

I should have stayed longer but it got too much and I had to leave. I fucking hate it there. So much. And my granddad is just so clumsy and absent minded and it just pisses me off so much.

WHEN YOU'RE WIFE SAYS GOODBYE TO YOU BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S GOING TO DIE DUE TO NO LONGER BEING ABLE TO BREATHE, YOU FUCKING DO NOT OFFER HER CIGARETTES THE NEXT DAY.

My mam stayed over one of the days because it 'wasn't fair on me' and she washed the dishes and fell asleep. I had to get up in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning to look after my gran and as soon as I went to college (because with someone there I can afford to do take a break by doing a UML collaberation diagram) she fecked off to her art class.

I reallly can't put up with all this shit anymore. She was in bits the other day. Literally worse than ever before and it was over an hour and a half before someone came to help me. It's like they were all fucking pulling straws to see who had the misfortune of going down and having to deal with it. And in the meantime I'm there trying to keep her alive long enough for it to not be my fault if something happens and on the phone every 3 or 4 minutes to see what to do if this happens and when that doesn't work, then what.

Fuck people!

Amazing!!!

I really want one of these. I'd wear it all year round I would!

You people disgust me

Smoking has got to be the most disgusting thing ever. It's got literally no advantages and why anyone in this day and age starts is beyond me. I can kinda understand the way some people might think it looks cool but anyone who thinks that sould come visit my gran. She's hooked up to an oxygen machine pretty much constantly and has to take some other vapour nebiliser stuff as well as that. And even with all that she doesn't get enough oxygen into her brain so now we have the wonderful world of losing one's mind setting in as well.

I came into my gran's yesterday and the sitting room was just a cloud of smoke. I couldn't even sit in there and it was too cold to open any doors or anything. I went back in a while later and gave her tablets to take. Than I had to show her how to take her tablets because she didn't know what to do with them, then we argued about how much nebiliser she has to take.
She then went around the room looking in all the little boxes around the place looking for something, but she didn't know what. She tried to take all the liquid medicine that she could get hold of. I had to take two bottles of laxitive and a bottle for heartburn from her. She also tried to take my granddad's painkillers and then her tablets again. Eventually I gave her two spoonfulls of her cough bottle and she was content.

She opened a bar of chocolate at somepoint. I've never seen someone so confused by chocolate before. She started cutting it with a knife. Which leads nicely into another chocolate related insident. My aunt was staying over and she decided they'd both have facials so my aunt had everything done and they'd to leave it on for a half an hour or so. In the meantime, they both had a bar of chocolate but after about ten minutes my aunt noticed my gran was rubbing it on her face.
It's a bit crap lauging at her when things like that happen but if I didn't I wouldn't be able to bare staying there so often.

So basically the point of this post is, if you don't want to have a chocolate face when you get older then you shouldn't smoke. And in general. Don't smoke. You're disgusting if you do.

6 hours and 17 minutes :/

I should really have my 3rd year project set up and ready to go by now. We've literally had weeks to get this done. At this moment in time, I have 6 hours and 17 minutes. Nice! I seem to be slipping back into old habits.

I've decided I'm going to get a laptop for Christmas and I'm going to install Linux and that way no one else will know how to use it and thus, leave it alone. It's a system that is going to work. It also means I won't have to put up with windows. Fucking Microsoft...
Failing that, I'll have to try a mac. I really don't want it to come to that though. 'Look at me I'm a pretentious bastard with my mac talking about how great macs are. Fuck me I'm pretentious!!!'

Cluedo is best form of study

We had a group meeting for our collective Galaxy Sleuth (The space mystery detective game) but instead of doing anything , we just played cluedo. I basically won because I'm super smart. Basically. I should become a detective or Jessica Fletcher or something. Yeah man! Yeah! Yeah!

I should stop asking people if they would or not. It's getting out of control. I'm just going to offend someone one of these days and they'll fuck me up.

Ed: I'm going out with this girl.
Me: Well done, would ya?
Ed: ...
Me: What am I saying? Of course you would...

Luckily people who know me know I shouldn't be taken seriously.

I'm a spazzer

Yesterday I took a shower but forgot to wash the shampoo out of my hair. I realised when I got out so I just dried it and it went all stupid and spiky and hard. I couldn't sleep last night so I decided I'd wash it out then a good 10 hours later. I'm a special case, me. :)

We have to hand up an unrealistic number of diagrams for our object orientated programming assignment. Apparently it will help us with the coding. It definately won't help us with the coding. What the hell are you playing at Liam? Could you have assigned us anything more stupid?

Internet arguements with strangest are awesome. Fucking Andy and Graeme don't know shit!

I wish I could fit the lyrics I like would fit better with guitar bits I like. Stupid lack of creative ability.



I shall continue to go on and on about this band. Amazing! I can't find their cd anywhere in my house. Balls.

Music. Yuss!

Plans have been made and now an actual music project is coming to fruition. I really hope it works out and is not just one of those things that gets lost in the clutter which I'll find again in a few years along with all the other crap and feel regret towards not trying.

But that won't happen. Posi Posi posi!!! I've got two songs started anyway. Awesome!!

Seriously, Mam? Seriously?

I wish my mam wouldn't listen to hay house radio. It's literally the biggest piece of shit ever. I'm listening to an astrology expert at the moment. How can someone claim expertise in something that doesn't exist? He's answering questions and mentioning Saturn or the moon every few minutes.

Also the people phoning in are ridiculous. 'I was going to split up with my husband last week but I decided against it and now we're going to work things out'. So off handish. They've got two kids as well.

So basically we've got shit head astrologist here dishing out advice to idiot people in vulnerable situations like this and basing their advice on factors such as where the moon is in the sky and whether Pluto is moving towards or away from earth. And they're listening to his every word as if he's the bible and they live in Catholic Ireland 50 years ago. Fucking Mark Husson!

Oh you better recognise!!!

I wish more people realised the joys in going out with a small group of friends instead of getting everyone they know and they're friends/college peers/estranged cousins with the gammy leg who hasn't quite grasped the art of making conversation. It's so much better having a more intimate group and being able to talk to them.

The church is such a lovely place. They gave us free drinks and were in general very friendly. Everyone should frequent there. I'm going to go for a meal there soon. Four courses, thirty euro each, two people and one bottle of wine. (I just wanted to count backwards from four)

It's amazing how much I don't want to buy dvd's ever and yet I frequent the cinema so much. My logic is flawed. I'm going to try and fix that soon.

I'm excited that you'll be home soon. I appreciate the little things in life so much more when you're around to share in the experience.

I can't believe she's lie to me like that...

When I was about five or six my Mam told my aunt a joke in front of me. It was a rude joke and I didn't hear the punchline so I asked what she said and she said she'd tell me when I was 18.

5 year old Richie: But you won't remember it when I'm 18...
Mam: I will, I promise...
5 year old Richie: I bet you you won't!
Mam: *goes back to talking my aunt*

I'm pretty sure from that point on, I wanted to be 18. Now I'm 21 and I still don't know the joke. We all have skeletons in our closets though.

Poor Blackle: The Renewal

Wow. This blog is way too depressing. In hind sight it's been a tough enough year but it's nearly over and has gotten alot easier now. I'm excited about life again and although I'm not quite the positive, upbeat person I was back in 2006 (That's nearly 4 years ago. Crazy), I'm getting back to it.

It's weird the way there's people I absolutely can't stand yet I still want to spend time with them. Your logic is flawed and your general presence annoys me but I'm still calling you up and inviting you out and stuff. Stop acting as if everything is such a big deal and stop looking into the mirror so hard. It's just us looking back.

Tilly and the Wall are incredible. More people need to realise this. Seriously!

I emailed myself all of my college notes so I could study a bit when I came home. It's looking very unlikely that that will happen. I have such noble plans which just fall to apathy... Oh well.

I think I'll get back into this blog again. The layout is so much better than the old myspace one.