It's 9:17am on Christmas morning. I woke up about an hour ago to the sound of my gran crashing to the floor. I tried to help her up as my brother got my mam out of bed. She came rushing down the stairs and we just about had her up when the following happened.
Granddad: I'm just going to go to the toilet.
Mam: Be careful. We don't want you falling as well.
Granddasd: I won't.
He literally walked two steps further and crashed down in the doorway, much to the dislike of my Mam. My Dad showed up a few seconds later and was all like
Dad: What's going on?
Adam: I dunno. People just keep fucking falling over.
I don't think I've ever come across a more helpful or accurate description of what was going on at a particular time.
I notced two presents in my pile and only expected one. The extra one was clearly a game or a dvd. I opened it to find High School Musical Singstar. You know me well, Santa. You know me too well. :)
Happy Christmas!
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Two Thousand And Nine
A year in review in the form of bullet points. I'm pretty bored.
- Dave's apartment and Time in Naas.
- Africa and Camping and realising how much better Irish society is.
- Killester House and the many parties and trios and general good times.
- Friday the 13th. Drunken idiots breaking my glasses. Becca stealing his shoe.
- Seizures. 3 fucking seizures!!!!
- Midnight cycles
- Paddys Day. The kid on the train. The scummers also on the train. Funderland in Bray.
- My Gran's fading health
- Bailey. <3
- Natalie Tran
- The Clarence. What a ridiculous experience.
- Brand New and Kevin Devine
- Birmingham and that asian girl that stared at me when I was getting dressed. Freak.
- Summer Barbeque which was weird yet pleasent.
- ATC for the second year.
- Rounders and Tennis
- Sweden. Fucking Sweden.
- Dempsey's song
- Tilly and the Wall
- That significant night
- College again
- Walking through Darndale for the first time in years. *Shudders*
- Walking through town all night long. Fuck!
- Hallowe'en with Pokémon
- Sundays with Rebecca
- Skins, The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother.
- That blog I wrote for Amy
- Amy coming home
- Music with Amy
- Amy
- Laser fucking eye surgery
- Meeting up with my Italian Leader again. :)
- Dempsey's super awesome present. Seriously the best ever!
And let's not forget...
- Rose. By far the greatest person in the world! You pale in comparison, whoever you are. :)
All in all, it's been a good year. And if we take a look at where I was and where I am now, I'm doing so much better in every which way. Despite the vast periods of nothingness, I'm glad everything happened. Well for the most part anyway. I'm so much more content in being me and not trying to be what someone else wants or expects me to be. Bring on the new decade. Can't wait to destroy whatever life throws at me. WE'RE HERE TO PILLAGE! WE'RE HERE TO BURN!
- Dave's apartment and Time in Naas.
- Africa and Camping and realising how much better Irish society is.
- Killester House and the many parties and trios and general good times.
- Friday the 13th. Drunken idiots breaking my glasses. Becca stealing his shoe.
- Seizures. 3 fucking seizures!!!!
- Midnight cycles
- Paddys Day. The kid on the train. The scummers also on the train. Funderland in Bray.
- My Gran's fading health
- Bailey. <3
- Natalie Tran
- The Clarence. What a ridiculous experience.
- Brand New and Kevin Devine
- Birmingham and that asian girl that stared at me when I was getting dressed. Freak.
- Summer Barbeque which was weird yet pleasent.
- ATC for the second year.
- Rounders and Tennis
- Sweden. Fucking Sweden.
- Dempsey's song
- Tilly and the Wall
- That significant night
- College again
- Walking through Darndale for the first time in years. *Shudders*
- Walking through town all night long. Fuck!
- Hallowe'en with Pokémon
- Sundays with Rebecca
- Skins, The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother.
- That blog I wrote for Amy
- Amy coming home
- Music with Amy
- Amy
- Laser fucking eye surgery
- Meeting up with my Italian Leader again. :)
- Dempsey's super awesome present. Seriously the best ever!
And let's not forget...
- Rose. By far the greatest person in the world! You pale in comparison, whoever you are. :)
All in all, it's been a good year. And if we take a look at where I was and where I am now, I'm doing so much better in every which way. Despite the vast periods of nothingness, I'm glad everything happened. Well for the most part anyway. I'm so much more content in being me and not trying to be what someone else wants or expects me to be. Bring on the new decade. Can't wait to destroy whatever life throws at me. WE'RE HERE TO PILLAGE! WE'RE HERE TO BURN!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Progress
I love progress. It's slow progress but it is definately progress. I'm looking forward to creating something that I'm not going to hate or let slip to apathy or forget about in a few months time. Pen and Paper though. It's for the best. You dope, you.
I read most of a book that Amy gave lent me today (It's not long and it is in no way impressive that I've almost finished it). It's absolute gold though.
'He said to me
that trying to reach heaven without
god is like trying to
jump across the grand canyon,
and it just couldn't be done.
I told him that
Robby Knievel jumped across the grand canyon
He said to me
that he would pray for my soul
The poor man.'
Amazing! In my experience with pointing out the flaws in the Jehova Witness's logic and arguing with them for hours, I have found that this is exactly how they react. they're such spazzers.
I remember talking to priests and teachers about why we go to church and why repeat prayers over and over instead of actually talking to this God character.
Priest shows up to class to give out about kids not going to mass every week...
Priest: Hands up who doesn't go to church every week.
Richie: *Shoots hand up*
Priest: Why don't you?
Richie: I don't want to.
Priest: You should make time to go to church.
Richie: Why?
Priest: So you can pray to God.
Richie: I do that at home.
Priest: You should still make time for church. *Leaves classroom*
If he'd even made any attempt to answer me properly I probably wouldn't hate any organised religion the way I do now. It's just a 'You're only in 2nd class and don't know anything' mentality which is completely stupid. I'm glad I had the cop on to reject their idiocy so young. :)
I got the most amazing present ever today. It's a photo collage of the past several years. And it's absolutely massive. I'm taking down a painting I've no attachment to and replacing it. I miss having photos on my wall.
I'm getting my eyes retested tomorrow. It's best of I sleep now. Good night, the internet.
I read most of a book that Amy gave lent me today (It's not long and it is in no way impressive that I've almost finished it). It's absolute gold though.
'He said to me
that trying to reach heaven without
god is like trying to
jump across the grand canyon,
and it just couldn't be done.
I told him that
Robby Knievel jumped across the grand canyon
He said to me
that he would pray for my soul
The poor man.'
Amazing! In my experience with pointing out the flaws in the Jehova Witness's logic and arguing with them for hours, I have found that this is exactly how they react. they're such spazzers.
I remember talking to priests and teachers about why we go to church and why repeat prayers over and over instead of actually talking to this God character.
Priest shows up to class to give out about kids not going to mass every week...
Priest: Hands up who doesn't go to church every week.
Richie: *Shoots hand up*
Priest: Why don't you?
Richie: I don't want to.
Priest: You should make time to go to church.
Richie: Why?
Priest: So you can pray to God.
Richie: I do that at home.
Priest: You should still make time for church. *Leaves classroom*
If he'd even made any attempt to answer me properly I probably wouldn't hate any organised religion the way I do now. It's just a 'You're only in 2nd class and don't know anything' mentality which is completely stupid. I'm glad I had the cop on to reject their idiocy so young. :)
I got the most amazing present ever today. It's a photo collage of the past several years. And it's absolutely massive. I'm taking down a painting I've no attachment to and replacing it. I miss having photos on my wall.
I'm getting my eyes retested tomorrow. It's best of I sleep now. Good night, the internet.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Idiots
If you can't handle your drink, don't drink! When your friends want nothing to do with you anymore you're doing something wrong. It's not the first, or the second, or the third, it's not even the fourth time you've done this. Fuck off!
I spent half of last night with a bunch of lads trying to get one of our 'friends' into a taxi. He wouldn't get in one. He couldn't construct a word, nvermind a sentence. He couldn't walk. He swung for one of us and then tried to chase us and careered into a fence and bounced his head off it. And after helping him up, he started swinging for me. I'm through with it. I don't care anymore.
I spent half of last night with a bunch of lads trying to get one of our 'friends' into a taxi. He wouldn't get in one. He couldn't construct a word, nvermind a sentence. He couldn't walk. He swung for one of us and then tried to chase us and careered into a fence and bounced his head off it. And after helping him up, he started swinging for me. I'm through with it. I don't care anymore.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
No More College
I finished college today. I was the last in the class to show that my program worked and apparently I did it better than anyone. Hyuss! I'm doing pretty well in all my subjects. Im only worried about one and there was nothing I could do about it so I'll just have to work a bit harder in that exam.
My friends are the nicest people ever. Like seriously. I saved several messages into my phone today so I can look back over them in a few weeks and smile away to myself.
I really wish I could do more for you. :(
My friends are the nicest people ever. Like seriously. I saved several messages into my phone today so I can look back over them in a few weeks and smile away to myself.
I really wish I could do more for you. :(
Saturday, December 12, 2009
The Little Things...
It's weird how much the little things annoy me. What gives you the right to say 'It's hard to be around Gran and Granddad'? You literally see them about three times a year. You can't claim an attachment like that when you don't care enough to even visit.
I went to work last night. I hate Christmas parties. It's just so hectic, always. Any time there's a free bar, people become obnoxious in their goals of drinking as much as physically possible and trying to get served. What a stupid society we live in.
The two assignments that were due on Friday are now due on Monday and Tuesday. Which is awesome because I don't even nearly have them done. I really don't understand how we're supposed to adequetly learn enough to go to work after college. Instead of using the lab facilities there, we have lectures on 'methods to program' and they don't actually teach you how to do anything. I literally have to go online and look up tutorials for how to do the simplest things. If they'd give us a stable amount of work as we go along and not just a massive assignment at the end, we'd actually know what we're doing.
My rose is back. Man that was a rough couple of days...
I went to work last night. I hate Christmas parties. It's just so hectic, always. Any time there's a free bar, people become obnoxious in their goals of drinking as much as physically possible and trying to get served. What a stupid society we live in.
The two assignments that were due on Friday are now due on Monday and Tuesday. Which is awesome because I don't even nearly have them done. I really don't understand how we're supposed to adequetly learn enough to go to work after college. Instead of using the lab facilities there, we have lectures on 'methods to program' and they don't actually teach you how to do anything. I literally have to go online and look up tutorials for how to do the simplest things. If they'd give us a stable amount of work as we go along and not just a massive assignment at the end, we'd actually know what we're doing.
My rose is back. Man that was a rough couple of days...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Time Management
I feel terrible. On the bus home I got headache which gradually got worse and I really just wanted to get off. Now I feel like I might vom before the night is over. Oh well.
I had an awesome day today. I love meeting up with old friends. And it's weird that I have friends that are so old. Old enough to be my mother. Madness. I regret nothing though. She's one of the nicest people ever.
It's so strange that I was working in ATC only 4 months ago. And another few months before that, Killester was the place to be. And now it's two weeks till Christmas? What the hell? It feels like only a few months ago I was listening to Xmas FM. My perception of time is all over the place. Since leaving school, time has somewhat melted into a goop. Ha. Goop.
I have to come up with a project plan for my 3rd year project now. It involves alot of time management which, as you can see from the above paragraph, baffles me. It's almost impossible to do it all now considering the project won't be started for ages. I can't wait to edit the schedule to fit our shortcomings before we even start. It's basically estimating things you haven't accounted for. It really is an ongoing process rather than something to before you start. Oh the joys and logic of college.
My presentation went surprisingly well. Whoopa!!! Who'd have thought such a serious lecturer would be up for some light comedic relief.
I had an awesome day today. I love meeting up with old friends. And it's weird that I have friends that are so old. Old enough to be my mother. Madness. I regret nothing though. She's one of the nicest people ever.
It's so strange that I was working in ATC only 4 months ago. And another few months before that, Killester was the place to be. And now it's two weeks till Christmas? What the hell? It feels like only a few months ago I was listening to Xmas FM. My perception of time is all over the place. Since leaving school, time has somewhat melted into a goop. Ha. Goop.
I have to come up with a project plan for my 3rd year project now. It involves alot of time management which, as you can see from the above paragraph, baffles me. It's almost impossible to do it all now considering the project won't be started for ages. I can't wait to edit the schedule to fit our shortcomings before we even start. It's basically estimating things you haven't accounted for. It really is an ongoing process rather than something to before you start. Oh the joys and logic of college.
My presentation went surprisingly well. Whoopa!!! Who'd have thought such a serious lecturer would be up for some light comedic relief.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Yes Men
I have a presentation due for thursday on Identity Theft. It's not something I expected and think there's going to be some sort of catch that I missed out on. Either way, the slides are done and there's no going back now.
I dedicated 4 out of the 10 slides to the yes men and included the picture of him looking stupid on the news...
Haha. His face... Wow!
If you haven't heard of The Yes Men you should visit their website, theyesmen.org, or just type them into youtube and you'll get several humourous videos.
Now I go to watch my Gran fade a little bit more. Hurray!
I dedicated 4 out of the 10 slides to the yes men and included the picture of him looking stupid on the news...
Haha. His face... Wow!
If you haven't heard of The Yes Men you should visit their website, theyesmen.org, or just type them into youtube and you'll get several humourous videos.
Now I go to watch my Gran fade a little bit more. Hurray!
Friday, December 4, 2009
The B9
I love coming across gems like this in the internet world.
BrokenIpod wrote:
I went on Omegle to try and find help, had an interesting conversation with heaven about her.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello and Welcome to the Heaven Help Line
Stranger: My name is Adam, how may I help you today?
You: http://www.tittaycitay.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/indierock.jpg
You: tell me who this girl is
You: I need to marry her
Stranger: One second please
You: she is AMAZING
Stranger: I concur sir
Stranger: However, I am afraid I do not know this particular individual
You: that's a major bummer
Stranger: I could transfer you to HMHQ
Stranger: Perhaps they would know
You: what's that stand for?
Stranger: Human Management Head Quarters
You: ah, yea, that'd be super
Stranger: One second please
You: thanks for the chat, Adam, you're a good dude.
Stranger: NOTICE: YOU ARE NOW BEING TRANSFERED TO HMHQ
Stranger: TO CANCEL THIS TRANSFER, PRESS ANY KEY NOW
Stranger: ---connecting---
Stranger: Hello, HMHQ, this is Amy
You: Hi Amy, maybe you'd be able to help me out with an issue i'm having
Stranger: Sure thing, tell me what the problem is
You: ok, well
You: I'll be straight with you
You: I need to marry this girl, this one right here in this picture - http://www.tittaycitay.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/indierock.jpg
You: but I don't know who she is
Stranger: I see
You: can you help me with a name or something?
Stranger: Well, though we cannot recognise a human based on a picture alone
Stranger: as we use a different tracking system
Stranger: I can put this into a new system the Tech guys came up with
You: Do you have a breast recognisation system?
Stranger: It's still in beta though
Stranger: No sir, I'm afraid we don't
You: I mean, you're a woman, but i'm sure you're just as stoked as I am on her gear.
You: Yea, let's run this through the new system, I mean, it can't hurt, can it?
Stranger: Just did sir
Stranger: we have 1 result
Stranger: We have the name Megane
You: Megane?
Stranger: Yes sir
You: As in the car? The Renault Megane? It's sturdy and reliable.
Stranger: Nice pun sir
Stranger: We also found this media on another website
Stranger: http://imosokuvip.blog60.fc2.com/blog-entry-1798.html
Stranger: I'm sorry sir, but that's all the information I can get
Stranger: The system is still in Beta, but we're working on a new database
You: You've been an amazing help, Amy. I truly appreciate it.
Stranger: No problem sir
Stranger: May I help you with anything else today?
You: Not that I can think of. Can I help YOU with anything, Amy?
Stranger: Sir, as long as I have served your every need today, I'm fine [no double entendre]
You: You're not the girl i'm looking for, are you Amy?
You: Because i'm serious about the marriage thing. I would truly love for you to have my children.
Stranger: I'm glad sir
Stranger: may I help you with anything else today?
You: I guess not. Thanks for being here for me, it's all I could have asked for.
Stranger: You're welcome sir
You: P.S. Have you met God?
Stranger: Yes sir, I have
Stranger: He made a speech at my orientation
You: Maybe he knows my future wife. Do you have a direct line?
You: Also, does he still wear sandals or does he go with Crocs now?
Stranger: I do not, but you may speak to a representative
Stranger: God prefers berkinstocks
You: I would LOVE to speak with God's Rep.
Stranger: And also sir, it is a misconception that we have dealings with fate or destiny
You: I think God is obviously a good guy
Stranger: that is just a glitch that the HMC is working on
Stranger: I'll transfer you to the AO
Stranger: NOTICE: YOU ARE NOW BEING TRANSFERRED TO AO
You: I'm willing to make my own fate, Amy. I just need a helping hand in finding this beautiful piece of lady bits.
Stranger: TO CANCEL THIS TRANSFER, PRESS ANY KEY NOW
Stranger: ---connecting---
Stranger: Hello, AO, this is Marc
You: Hi Marc, how're you?
Stranger: I'm just fine sir, may I help you with something?
You: Yes, you can, I hope.
You: http://imosokuvip.blog60.fc2.com/blog-entry-1798.html
You: Im looking for this girl, I need to marry her. Can you find a name? I was told Megane was a possibility.
Stranger: Sir, there are multiple persons on this page
Stranger: And that would be a matter to take up with the HMHQ
You: Oh, my bad. That's the link Amy found for me.
You: http://www.tittaycitay.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/indierock.jpg
Stranger: I'll make a note for her review and termination
Stranger: I am sorry for the inconvience sir
You: Well, Marc, I just want you to look at her and tell me you don't want to help me find her.
Stranger: Sir, as much as I might
Stranger: I cannot
Stranger: as that is a job for the HMHQ
You: Please don't terminate Amy, she went above and beyond to help me.
You: Ok, so you're God's Rep, right?
Stranger: We have a very strict policy here at Heaven Incorporated
Stranger: a 1-strike system if you will
Stranger: No sir, I am just a secretary
Stranger: I can transfer you to certain reps depending on the case
Stranger: That is, if they are available
You: Well, I put it to you that Amy was selfless in the fact that she risked her job to help me find my future wife. That cannot be a bad thing.
Stranger: You said you were not satisfied with the results of her efforts
Stranger: Perhaps we had a misunderstanding
You: Anything you can do to help me, Marc, would be great. I've no chance of speaking with God today?
Stranger: I'm afraid God cannot be reached directly for matters such as this
Stranger: He is a very busy man
Stranger: However, his reps report directly to him
You: I was very happy with Amy, please note that in her file.
Stranger: and, if the case is of great enough of importance
Stranger: god will be notified
Stranger: I will make a note
You: Ok, i'd like to speak to a rep, please.
Stranger: Ok sir, what is your case?
You: I need to find a woman from a photograph so that I can propose marriage to her and make beautiful children.
Stranger: That would be a matter for the HMHQ sir
Stranger: I'm sorry they were not able to resolve the matter
Stranger: I hear they are working on a new system, perhaps you could ask for that
You: I spoke with Amy from HMHQ already, Marc.
You: She tried that, with mixed results.
You: I guess today just isn't my day, huh?
Stranger: I'm sorry sir
Stranger: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
You: You did everything you could do, Marc.
You: Yes, there is, actually.
You: Give yourself a hug and a pat on the back for being such a great help and let everyone know that Amy and Adam are fantastic.
Stranger: Thank you sir
Stranger: I appreciate that
You: My pleasure.
You: Have a lovely afterlife.
Stranger: and I will make sure to make a note on their respective files
Stranger: You too sir
I should lurk the b9 more often.
BrokenIpod wrote:
I went on Omegle to try and find help, had an interesting conversation with heaven about her.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello and Welcome to the Heaven Help Line
Stranger: My name is Adam, how may I help you today?
You: http://www.tittaycitay.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/indierock.jpg
You: tell me who this girl is
You: I need to marry her
Stranger: One second please
You: she is AMAZING
Stranger: I concur sir
Stranger: However, I am afraid I do not know this particular individual
You: that's a major bummer
Stranger: I could transfer you to HMHQ
Stranger: Perhaps they would know
You: what's that stand for?
Stranger: Human Management Head Quarters
You: ah, yea, that'd be super
Stranger: One second please
You: thanks for the chat, Adam, you're a good dude.
Stranger: NOTICE: YOU ARE NOW BEING TRANSFERED TO HMHQ
Stranger: TO CANCEL THIS TRANSFER, PRESS ANY KEY NOW
Stranger: ---connecting---
Stranger: Hello, HMHQ, this is Amy
You: Hi Amy, maybe you'd be able to help me out with an issue i'm having
Stranger: Sure thing, tell me what the problem is
You: ok, well
You: I'll be straight with you
You: I need to marry this girl, this one right here in this picture - http://www.tittaycitay.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/indierock.jpg
You: but I don't know who she is
Stranger: I see
You: can you help me with a name or something?
Stranger: Well, though we cannot recognise a human based on a picture alone
Stranger: as we use a different tracking system
Stranger: I can put this into a new system the Tech guys came up with
You: Do you have a breast recognisation system?
Stranger: It's still in beta though
Stranger: No sir, I'm afraid we don't
You: I mean, you're a woman, but i'm sure you're just as stoked as I am on her gear.
You: Yea, let's run this through the new system, I mean, it can't hurt, can it?
Stranger: Just did sir
Stranger: we have 1 result
Stranger: We have the name Megane
You: Megane?
Stranger: Yes sir
You: As in the car? The Renault Megane? It's sturdy and reliable.
Stranger: Nice pun sir
Stranger: We also found this media on another website
Stranger: http://imosokuvip.blog60.fc2.com/blog-entry-1798.html
Stranger: I'm sorry sir, but that's all the information I can get
Stranger: The system is still in Beta, but we're working on a new database
You: You've been an amazing help, Amy. I truly appreciate it.
Stranger: No problem sir
Stranger: May I help you with anything else today?
You: Not that I can think of. Can I help YOU with anything, Amy?
Stranger: Sir, as long as I have served your every need today, I'm fine [no double entendre]
You: You're not the girl i'm looking for, are you Amy?
You: Because i'm serious about the marriage thing. I would truly love for you to have my children.
Stranger: I'm glad sir
Stranger: may I help you with anything else today?
You: I guess not. Thanks for being here for me, it's all I could have asked for.
Stranger: You're welcome sir
You: P.S. Have you met God?
Stranger: Yes sir, I have
Stranger: He made a speech at my orientation
You: Maybe he knows my future wife. Do you have a direct line?
You: Also, does he still wear sandals or does he go with Crocs now?
Stranger: I do not, but you may speak to a representative
Stranger: God prefers berkinstocks
You: I would LOVE to speak with God's Rep.
Stranger: And also sir, it is a misconception that we have dealings with fate or destiny
You: I think God is obviously a good guy
Stranger: that is just a glitch that the HMC is working on
Stranger: I'll transfer you to the AO
Stranger: NOTICE: YOU ARE NOW BEING TRANSFERRED TO AO
You: I'm willing to make my own fate, Amy. I just need a helping hand in finding this beautiful piece of lady bits.
Stranger: TO CANCEL THIS TRANSFER, PRESS ANY KEY NOW
Stranger: ---connecting---
Stranger: Hello, AO, this is Marc
You: Hi Marc, how're you?
Stranger: I'm just fine sir, may I help you with something?
You: Yes, you can, I hope.
You: http://imosokuvip.blog60.fc2.com/blog-entry-1798.html
You: Im looking for this girl, I need to marry her. Can you find a name? I was told Megane was a possibility.
Stranger: Sir, there are multiple persons on this page
Stranger: And that would be a matter to take up with the HMHQ
You: Oh, my bad. That's the link Amy found for me.
You: http://www.tittaycitay.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/indierock.jpg
Stranger: I'll make a note for her review and termination
Stranger: I am sorry for the inconvience sir
You: Well, Marc, I just want you to look at her and tell me you don't want to help me find her.
Stranger: Sir, as much as I might
Stranger: I cannot
Stranger: as that is a job for the HMHQ
You: Please don't terminate Amy, she went above and beyond to help me.
You: Ok, so you're God's Rep, right?
Stranger: We have a very strict policy here at Heaven Incorporated
Stranger: a 1-strike system if you will
Stranger: No sir, I am just a secretary
Stranger: I can transfer you to certain reps depending on the case
Stranger: That is, if they are available
You: Well, I put it to you that Amy was selfless in the fact that she risked her job to help me find my future wife. That cannot be a bad thing.
Stranger: You said you were not satisfied with the results of her efforts
Stranger: Perhaps we had a misunderstanding
You: Anything you can do to help me, Marc, would be great. I've no chance of speaking with God today?
Stranger: I'm afraid God cannot be reached directly for matters such as this
Stranger: He is a very busy man
Stranger: However, his reps report directly to him
You: I was very happy with Amy, please note that in her file.
Stranger: and, if the case is of great enough of importance
Stranger: god will be notified
Stranger: I will make a note
You: Ok, i'd like to speak to a rep, please.
Stranger: Ok sir, what is your case?
You: I need to find a woman from a photograph so that I can propose marriage to her and make beautiful children.
Stranger: That would be a matter for the HMHQ sir
Stranger: I'm sorry they were not able to resolve the matter
Stranger: I hear they are working on a new system, perhaps you could ask for that
You: I spoke with Amy from HMHQ already, Marc.
You: She tried that, with mixed results.
You: I guess today just isn't my day, huh?
Stranger: I'm sorry sir
Stranger: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
You: You did everything you could do, Marc.
You: Yes, there is, actually.
You: Give yourself a hug and a pat on the back for being such a great help and let everyone know that Amy and Adam are fantastic.
Stranger: Thank you sir
Stranger: I appreciate that
You: My pleasure.
You: Have a lovely afterlife.
Stranger: and I will make sure to make a note on their respective files
Stranger: You too sir
I should lurk the b9 more often.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Amy
Happy Birthday, Amy!!!
I've decided I'm going to write a blog about how awesome Amy is because I like writing blogs and Amy is awesome.
Amy's a good egg. Even if she does look really bored in pictures of us together. I don't think there's any decent pictures of us together. It's the beauty of our friendship. It's just a series of compliments and insults varying in severity and occasionally crossing lines that shouldn't be crossed.
Behind all the easy distractions and intense msn conversations, she's a pretty awesome gal and tells me what to do at times when I don't know what I should be doing. Once I gave her good advice as well. The rest of the time it was clichés and basically what she'd already said but rephrased slightly.
She's also painfully harsh so if I ever want sympathy I avoid. I don't really. I just tell her and she slaps me in the face with her words and I go back to my business.
I remember when I decided she was my bestie. If we take a look at this graph...
I copied and pasted but the graph didn't come out... Sigh. I'll draw it in paint. Hang on...
There we go... I call it the loch ness monster theory because it goes up and down like nessie does.
From the graph you can see I was bummed out at the end of 06/start of 07. It was possibly the first time in my adult life where I was upset about something. Luckily Prince Amy was all over the situation like a disease in a developing country and from atop her noble steed, she was there to talk to me and such.
Many magical events did occur and adventures were had. To name a few...
- Really tight shorts guy
- Washing Amy's hands and Brushing Amy's teeth
- The really cold radiator
- 5c Pencil Pearers
- Cute without the E
- The guy on the bus going to Limerick
- Sligo
- Harold
I'm sure there's loads more and things like Cute without the E is more a song than an event but yeah. Go with it.
In conclusion Amy is the best human being and if we were all a little bit more like Amy, the world would be a better place. She makes me want to be a better person and I am very happy she is in my life. Yay!
I've decided I'm going to write a blog about how awesome Amy is because I like writing blogs and Amy is awesome.
Amy's a good egg. Even if she does look really bored in pictures of us together. I don't think there's any decent pictures of us together. It's the beauty of our friendship. It's just a series of compliments and insults varying in severity and occasionally crossing lines that shouldn't be crossed.
Behind all the easy distractions and intense msn conversations, she's a pretty awesome gal and tells me what to do at times when I don't know what I should be doing. Once I gave her good advice as well. The rest of the time it was clichés and basically what she'd already said but rephrased slightly.
She's also painfully harsh so if I ever want sympathy I avoid. I don't really. I just tell her and she slaps me in the face with her words and I go back to my business.
I remember when I decided she was my bestie. If we take a look at this graph...
I copied and pasted but the graph didn't come out... Sigh. I'll draw it in paint. Hang on...
There we go... I call it the loch ness monster theory because it goes up and down like nessie does.
From the graph you can see I was bummed out at the end of 06/start of 07. It was possibly the first time in my adult life where I was upset about something. Luckily Prince Amy was all over the situation like a disease in a developing country and from atop her noble steed, she was there to talk to me and such.
Many magical events did occur and adventures were had. To name a few...
- Really tight shorts guy
- Washing Amy's hands and Brushing Amy's teeth
- The really cold radiator
- 5c Pencil Pearers
- Cute without the E
- The guy on the bus going to Limerick
- Sligo
- Harold
I'm sure there's loads more and things like Cute without the E is more a song than an event but yeah. Go with it.
In conclusion Amy is the best human being and if we were all a little bit more like Amy, the world would be a better place. She makes me want to be a better person and I am very happy she is in my life. Yay!
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