When I was younger I used to think that there was a secret that everyone over a certain age knew about and when you got to a certain age, they'd tell you. Once you were told the secret, you'd realise it's importance as a secret and you'd never tell anyone under that certain age. Every year I was half expecting the secrets of the world to be revealed to me within a sentence. Like they'd just say a word and then everything would click and make sense. That's what your Mam meant when she said 'It's a grown up thing' or 'I'll tell you when you're older'. I was always a little bit scared that I'd die before I got to that age and live eternally in heaven as a child and never find it out.