I finished my 3000 word essay. I got two thousand eight hundred and something. It'll do. I don't care anymore. At around 4:30 he announced an extension and then at about 5 he retracted it. Who does that. I'm glad I didn't just pack up my stuff and leave like almost did.
It's 1 subject out of the way. Just another 6 left. :(
I'm getting really excited about actual music project. I'm trying so hard to concentrate on college and not just play guitar. I have a day off tomorrow. I think I'll record something. It's been so so long.
>
It's obnoxiously funny. That interviewer just doesn't get it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Finn Finn's bday
I've been feeling suprisingly positive and generally happy today, which is bizarre considering all of the things I've become so acustomed to is crumbling around me. I'm just going to go with it and hope for the best.
It's Finn Finn's birthday today. Happy birthday Finn Finn. There was a celebratory party to commemorate the occasion last night in sin. Sin is an ok place. It's the same as everywhere else though so what's the point really? I had the buzz though and some moshspace lads i didn't quite know screamed my name across the room, which is nothing unusual in fairness. And a guy stumbled in my direction and steadied himself by using my inside thigh for balance. He was so apolagetic. I was lolling.
I made her a card out of a post it. And I put it into a massive envelope. I love how consistantly bad my cards and present attempts are and how people still accept them and think they're funny. On the inside I wrote:
'dear Finn Finn,
I was going to write you a rhyme,
but I can't think of anything.
Fuck it!
Love Black.'
:)
I had a consultation for laser eye surgery this morning. 11th of December. The ability to see, here I come.
I have a new laptop. Yay.
It's Finn Finn's birthday today. Happy birthday Finn Finn. There was a celebratory party to commemorate the occasion last night in sin. Sin is an ok place. It's the same as everywhere else though so what's the point really? I had the buzz though and some moshspace lads i didn't quite know screamed my name across the room, which is nothing unusual in fairness. And a guy stumbled in my direction and steadied himself by using my inside thigh for balance. He was so apolagetic. I was lolling.
I made her a card out of a post it. And I put it into a massive envelope. I love how consistantly bad my cards and present attempts are and how people still accept them and think they're funny. On the inside I wrote:
'dear Finn Finn,
I was going to write you a rhyme,
but I can't think of anything.
Fuck it!
Love Black.'
:)
I had a consultation for laser eye surgery this morning. 11th of December. The ability to see, here I come.
I have a new laptop. Yay.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I dislike boring essays
After 4 hours I'm only 354 words into my 3000 word assignment. Oh dear. This isn't going to end well. It's due in on friday. The plan is to go to his lecture tomorrow and harass him for what i should do. Hopefully he'll take pity on me and offer an extension. It won't happen but a gal can dream right? A gal can dream... *looks into distance*
And now back to looking after my grandparents. Hurray!!!
And now back to looking after my grandparents. Hurray!!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Yeah...
So after a nice weekend at home where I spent the majority of my time in bed, I have calmed down considerably and am ready for another week of crap. I have assignments due though so it's very likely I'll be less stressed out because I've got distractions. Ah distracting yourself from the harsh realities of life. There's nothing like it.
I miss my Greer. I forgot how much she gives out to me and gets distracted by the dresses she buys and other such novelties. <3
We went to the Czech in last night. I wouldn't let Rebecca go dance and held onto her wrist so she couldn't go and some guy came up and grabbed my hands and made me let go. People are strange there. It's not what I'm used to and I don't like it.
This has been stuck in my head for days now. I'm ok with it.
I miss my Greer. I forgot how much she gives out to me and gets distracted by the dresses she buys and other such novelties. <3
We went to the Czech in last night. I wouldn't let Rebecca go dance and held onto her wrist so she couldn't go and some guy came up and grabbed my hands and made me let go. People are strange there. It's not what I'm used to and I don't like it.
This has been stuck in my head for days now. I'm ok with it.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
:(
I spent the last week staying up with my gran making her cups of tea that she innevitably didn't drink, making her food and then having to feed her, almost carrying her because she can't walk, catching her when she fell over, making her take her tablets, holding nebiliser masks up to her face, following her around with her oxygen tube trying to convince her that it actually will make her better, showing her how to swallow her tablets, showing her how to take an inhaler, letting her give out to me for whatever reasons came into her head, waking up at 6 in the morning and getting her breathing on track again, running to the shop, lighting her cigarettes... It's possibly the worst week of my life.
I should have stayed longer but it got too much and I had to leave. I fucking hate it there. So much. And my granddad is just so clumsy and absent minded and it just pisses me off so much.
WHEN YOU'RE WIFE SAYS GOODBYE TO YOU BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S GOING TO DIE DUE TO NO LONGER BEING ABLE TO BREATHE, YOU FUCKING DO NOT OFFER HER CIGARETTES THE NEXT DAY.
My mam stayed over one of the days because it 'wasn't fair on me' and she washed the dishes and fell asleep. I had to get up in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning to look after my gran and as soon as I went to college (because with someone there I can afford to do take a break by doing a UML collaberation diagram) she fecked off to her art class.
I reallly can't put up with all this shit anymore. She was in bits the other day. Literally worse than ever before and it was over an hour and a half before someone came to help me. It's like they were all fucking pulling straws to see who had the misfortune of going down and having to deal with it. And in the meantime I'm there trying to keep her alive long enough for it to not be my fault if something happens and on the phone every 3 or 4 minutes to see what to do if this happens and when that doesn't work, then what.
Fuck people!
I should have stayed longer but it got too much and I had to leave. I fucking hate it there. So much. And my granddad is just so clumsy and absent minded and it just pisses me off so much.
WHEN YOU'RE WIFE SAYS GOODBYE TO YOU BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S GOING TO DIE DUE TO NO LONGER BEING ABLE TO BREATHE, YOU FUCKING DO NOT OFFER HER CIGARETTES THE NEXT DAY.
My mam stayed over one of the days because it 'wasn't fair on me' and she washed the dishes and fell asleep. I had to get up in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning to look after my gran and as soon as I went to college (because with someone there I can afford to do take a break by doing a UML collaberation diagram) she fecked off to her art class.
I reallly can't put up with all this shit anymore. She was in bits the other day. Literally worse than ever before and it was over an hour and a half before someone came to help me. It's like they were all fucking pulling straws to see who had the misfortune of going down and having to deal with it. And in the meantime I'm there trying to keep her alive long enough for it to not be my fault if something happens and on the phone every 3 or 4 minutes to see what to do if this happens and when that doesn't work, then what.
Fuck people!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
You people disgust me
Smoking has got to be the most disgusting thing ever. It's got literally no advantages and why anyone in this day and age starts is beyond me. I can kinda understand the way some people might think it looks cool but anyone who thinks that sould come visit my gran. She's hooked up to an oxygen machine pretty much constantly and has to take some other vapour nebiliser stuff as well as that. And even with all that she doesn't get enough oxygen into her brain so now we have the wonderful world of losing one's mind setting in as well.
I came into my gran's yesterday and the sitting room was just a cloud of smoke. I couldn't even sit in there and it was too cold to open any doors or anything. I went back in a while later and gave her tablets to take. Than I had to show her how to take her tablets because she didn't know what to do with them, then we argued about how much nebiliser she has to take.
She then went around the room looking in all the little boxes around the place looking for something, but she didn't know what. She tried to take all the liquid medicine that she could get hold of. I had to take two bottles of laxitive and a bottle for heartburn from her. She also tried to take my granddad's painkillers and then her tablets again. Eventually I gave her two spoonfulls of her cough bottle and she was content.
She opened a bar of chocolate at somepoint. I've never seen someone so confused by chocolate before. She started cutting it with a knife. Which leads nicely into another chocolate related insident. My aunt was staying over and she decided they'd both have facials so my aunt had everything done and they'd to leave it on for a half an hour or so. In the meantime, they both had a bar of chocolate but after about ten minutes my aunt noticed my gran was rubbing it on her face.
It's a bit crap lauging at her when things like that happen but if I didn't I wouldn't be able to bare staying there so often.
So basically the point of this post is, if you don't want to have a chocolate face when you get older then you shouldn't smoke. And in general. Don't smoke. You're disgusting if you do.
I came into my gran's yesterday and the sitting room was just a cloud of smoke. I couldn't even sit in there and it was too cold to open any doors or anything. I went back in a while later and gave her tablets to take. Than I had to show her how to take her tablets because she didn't know what to do with them, then we argued about how much nebiliser she has to take.
She then went around the room looking in all the little boxes around the place looking for something, but she didn't know what. She tried to take all the liquid medicine that she could get hold of. I had to take two bottles of laxitive and a bottle for heartburn from her. She also tried to take my granddad's painkillers and then her tablets again. Eventually I gave her two spoonfulls of her cough bottle and she was content.
She opened a bar of chocolate at somepoint. I've never seen someone so confused by chocolate before. She started cutting it with a knife. Which leads nicely into another chocolate related insident. My aunt was staying over and she decided they'd both have facials so my aunt had everything done and they'd to leave it on for a half an hour or so. In the meantime, they both had a bar of chocolate but after about ten minutes my aunt noticed my gran was rubbing it on her face.
It's a bit crap lauging at her when things like that happen but if I didn't I wouldn't be able to bare staying there so often.
So basically the point of this post is, if you don't want to have a chocolate face when you get older then you shouldn't smoke. And in general. Don't smoke. You're disgusting if you do.
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