Eugh...

It's getting to that time of year, where you leave and don't come back. I think it's starting to physically make me sick. It's dragging me back down to the downward spiral I climbed out of a few months ago.

Watching someone have a seizure has got to be the worst thing I have ever witnessed. It's like watching someone kick every last joule of energy out of their body before they die. It's so horrible to see. It happened to my gran a few weeks ago. This horrible shaking was followed by an ungodly sound, as if she was forcing all the air out of her body. It was like she was shutting down her systems one at a time, first the nervous system, then her respiratory system shut down.

She sat dead for about two minutes with a cold heartless stare across the room. Having to make a phonecall telling someone their mother just died is almost as bad as the event itself. I couldn't even bring myself to do it. I said she fainted instead.

As it happened she did come to a while later. My Godparents came over so I let them take over the situation while I sat down trying to take in what was going on.

As much as I helped that situation, I wish I wasn't there for it. It's going to haunt me for such a long time. A few years down the line when I think back on my grandparents, that's going to be the first thing that comes into my head. Fantastic!